Richly Rested™
For centuries Black Women have been strong, capable, resilient, pioneering, and innovative. We are celebrated for the multitude of what we can produce and provide to the outside world in spite of all we may encounter or experience. The word ‘strong’ has become synonymous with Black Women and vice versa. As a result, the ‘Strong Black Woman’ has become a badge of honor worn proudly to express that ‘we will not/cannot be broken’ while leaving very little room to honor when we have indeed, as human nature, been broken or experienced any of the life circumstances that might lead up to a natural breaking point.
Rest has become identified as a luxury activity that no matter how much we give to the lives of others, no matter how much we achieve and overcome, it seems many cannot afford to simply invest in the care of Self. There is always something more important for us to do that stands in the way of our wellbeing as a priority in our own lives. Our careers, our partners, the needs of our families, obligations to our friends, and the plights of our communities all seem to come before the acknowledgement of our need to slow down. As a result, we continue to toil towards successful careers, relationships, and a happy existence. Society and social media would lead us to believe that rest is the reward for success, however, rest is the way to success.
Rep. Maxine Waters at Black Girls Rock
Rest is defined as the behavior aimed at increasing physical and mental well being through stopping the engagement and participation in other activities. Not to be confused with sleep, rest is the calm life-sustaining space that allows the human being to replenish what has been expended. Rest is essential to life and wellbeing. When we don’t experience rest we most definitely experience burnout, exhaustion, overwhelm, depletion and in many cases death. Cardiovascular diseases claim the lives of 50,000 women annually. This number is more than breast cancer, lung cancer, and other serious ailments generally associated with women’s health. Stress is the number one factor for serious health conditions including cardiovascular disease. Could we experience any of the aforementioned as a result of other factors? Sure, however rest and the reduction of stress is most definitely the remedy and thus should be the preemptive antidote to keep those experiences at bay.
Rest is NOT the reward we get after exceeding our capacities. Rest is the essential nutrient we must engage to honor, support, and care for our capacities as human beings. Rest is a crucial function for human life. Contrary to societal expectations, Women of Color are human beings. We are human-beings, not human-doings. As such, we deserve to support, care for, and celebrate all the factors that make us who we are, including those aspects of ourselves that are not performative. What if we supported our capacity for being in the manner and with the same level of particularity as we do our compulsion for doing? Be more. Do less. We are constantly finding innovative ways to do more. What if we embraced innovative ways of experiencing quality care to strengthen our being? Rest then becomes synonymous with care and an essential part of the human experience. As Women of Color we must choose to be exceptionally cared for, not just aimlessly pampered. We deserve to be Richly Rested™ and abundant in care.
The act of caring for ourselves goes beyond the momentary indulgences, island vacations, and heavenly scented body anointments. To truly engage in quality care we must identify the areas of our being, not just our bodies, that need the most care and attention. As Women of Color, it is crucial for us to honor our own humanity and the truth that ‘we are not always strong’ in order to allow us to receive the essential support and care we need. Denying our hurt, exhaustion, or weaknesses while engaging in spa days, shopping sprees, and escape-cations is like having a blue bicycle with no air in the tires and simply painting it red and trying to ride it. Coating the bike with newer, shinier paint won’t breathe life into the areas of the bike (the tires) that would empower it to move forward smoothly. When we don’t address our areas of experienced challenge we hinder our optimal human experience. The new red paint isn’t bad, it simply doesn’t appropriately address the true challenge at hand. The idea of the bike with flat tires could easily be swapped out for a chipped or broken nail on one’s hand. The concept is the same, if we do not address the true challenge at hand (all puns intended) we will continue to experience the pain of trying to use what has not been properly cared for and only increase and expand our painful experiences.
Let us be loved and rich in care. Let us take the time to truly identify when we need rest and care, then engage in rich quality care experiences so that we mirror to our daughters and those that come after us that needing care is not a flaw in our humanity, it is a sign of our humanity. Embracing rest, asking for support, and allowing ourselves to be cared for is critical in releasing the stigma we culturally have associated with being seen as human, instead of super. We don’t need to be super, we can simply be human.
When our souls, minds, and bodies are optimally cared for we show up in a different light. Let us prioritize quality care that addresses and supports our needs so we can embrace and enjoy our human experience instead of constantly fighting against it. Instead of trauma, exhaustion, and pain let us pass down a lightness that can only come from embracing quality care and being Richly Rested™.
